Of Valour and Fatherhood

Word Origin and History for Valor   n. c.1300, "value, worth," from Old French valour "strength, value, valor,"from  Late Latin valorem  (nominative valor) "value, worth," from stem ofLatin valere "be worth, be strong" (see valiant ).   The meaning "courage" is first recorded 1580s, from Italian valore, from the same Late Latin word. (The Middle English word also had a sense of "worth or worthiness in respect of manly qualities")

i was trying to find the right word to describe my father's life, a word to define how he has lived. It has not been perfect, but it has been principled. My dad served honorably in the Marine Corps in Vietnam. He worked nights, swing shifts, and weekends to provide for his family. And he overcame a decades-long battle with alcohol.

Was there a word to describe my dad, to help someone understand the courage required to face your demons, even ones you created? A word to comprehend the profound honesty and courage it takes to face oneself and accept the perpetual state of shortcomings and failure. A word that brings them down into the dirt where deep and genuine humility risks forgiveness of self and accepts grace from those wounded. A word to understand the sheer power of the will and mind to determinedly and purposefully leave the past behind, with its constant echoes of doubt, condemnation and hate. To make no more apologies or excuses, but rather, to embrace hope and change.

The word is valor. i relish the etymology of the word. To some, and maybe even my dad, it's hyperbole.  But i object. Today's world is filled with many landmines and deceptions that kill and disable our character and integrity. To rise again, to defeat the enemy, is nothing less than valor. And i believe, it's a battle faced by each of us.  

the war inside

yeah, it's where the fight begins
yeah, underneath the skin
between these hopes and where we've been
every fight comes from the fight within

i am the war inside
i am the battle line
i am the rising tide
i am the war I fight
eyes open, open wide
i can feel it like a crack in my spine
i can feel it like the back of my mind
i am the war inside

i get the feeling that we're living in sci-fi
i get the the feeling that our weapons are lo-fi
ain't no killer like pride
no killer like I

no killer like what's inside 

Songwriters: Jon Foreman / Tim Foreman

The War Inside lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, The Bicycle Music Company

 Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper